3: Armor for Sleep

• • • • • Part 1: In a Literal Sense• • • • •

As time progresses, I listen to this band more and more often. It has occurred to me that Armor for Sleep isn't just...idealism anymore. It's a necessity.
I guess those who originally said good things come with a price had no idea how right they were.

We all grow up to fast because of the things we worry about. Really, look at us. Little kids of seven and eight years old are learning to shoot guns with there Pa in the middle of nowhere, because it turns out that Daddy keeps them all over the house to protect his family. Little kid asks Dad why he does it? What is he protecting them from? If Daddy gives them any kind of an idea, they worry about it, too.
If we could just...go to sleep with our pillow, our teddy bear, and a coat of armor, we might have a chance. A coat of armor to protect us from physical harm, but also a shield from all of these little mental things. If we could just stay in our little cocoon of comfort for those necessary 7 hours a night, depression wouldn't be a problem with teens, and we might still have some little scrap of that innocence that it seems has gone into hiding.

It seems sometimes though that it's too late. For the little nine year old that can't read but argue politics with their parents, the way out is broken.


Being Your Walls
I sometimes feel like I need armor for sleep, too. My nights only seem to get harder and harder. If I had a simple layer of Kevlar clinging to my limbs and body, maybe I could take it. Maybe it could offer protection from the pain I deal with nightly that comes with a history of bottling things up. I'm sick of having all of this anger inside of me, or anger trying to make itself appear. I don't like it. When do I get to be a kid again?
Armor for sleep is my outlet. Last night I was thinking about what happened yesterday with April and I, and listening to the wanderers guild. Great song. Instead of holding on to the hurt, or focusing on it, I let it out. I just relaxed, and let it go. I felt so much lighter. Then I applied some of the songs lyrics to the scenario, and I was laughing at how well they fit, and how sad it didn't make me.

Armor for Sleep is my armor for sleep.



A SONG OR TWO• • • • • •

The way out is Broken by Armor for Sleep
Being your Walls by Armor for Sleep
The Wanderers Guild by Armor for Sleep



Keep It simple
-The Daily Musician

2: For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ Part 1: For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Yesterday, I was reading A friend's blog. There was an entry that concerned me, some things that went down in the past. Some misunderstandings. We were talking about it, and we found out that we were lied to more than what we thought. I think that now that we know this, we will thoroughly band together without any little secrets making perforated lines between our friendship.
With the lies came something that I have not been able to get my mind off of. Any of you that have ever dealt with a broken heart know what I was going through. It was getting to the point where I couldn't take it. We found out about the lies, and I was hurt. I really was. But I slept last night. I'm questioning my feelings for him. I know that I probably would take him back in a heartbeat should he ask, but the fact that I'm questioning my feelings means I'm making progress. I'm moving on, and I feel sad at the idea that my feelings might be lessening, but it gives me hope that I can stop dwelling on how much I love him.
A small truth- I will never not love him, but this is a sign that the way I love him is finally changing.

I've hoped for change, Just talk yourself up,
and it gets better every day. And tear yourself down.
I've hoped for change, You've built your one wall,
but still I feel the same. Now find a way around.
There's something wrong, Whoa, what's the problem?
Because everybody knows You've got a lot of nerve.
That we can do this on our own.... So what, did you think I would say That you can't run away,
(Whoa by Paramore) That you can't run away?
So what, did you think I would say
That you can't run away,
That you can't run away, You wouldn't.
I never wanted to say this,
But you never wanted to stay.
I put my faith in you, So much faith,
And then you, just threw it away.

(For A pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore)


If you think the way I do, both of these little songs seem fitting to the scenario. April, thank you for writing about that, although I usually hate the idea of writing about people by name, It's helping to get me out of this hole. I'm glad we're finally thoroughly friends.


Part 2:A SONG OR TWO♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
The songs for this entry are
For A pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore
&
Whoa by Paramore

1: Looking up

Part One: Somewhat of an introduction

This is me. I wear pretty blue dresses with ratty old converse. I play guitar, trumpet, and piano. I sometimes bite leaves when I walk by a tree, but usually only if I'm with Kaelyn. I like coffee, but I guess it doesn't like me because I have a case of the shakes at the moment. I love my friends, family, and my dog.
As you see, I have called this entry Getting Started. The reason being that not only will this serve as my initial entry, but I am getting started in more ways than one.
Just a week ago, I moved from my cushy little life in Florence, Alabama, that was filled with friends and people to talk to, places to see, to a new one in Greenwood, Indiana. I am starting over, in a sense. I am still in touch with my friends, as a matter of fact I'm talking to them now. But they're a few hours away. Up here, I have my family, which is always important. I am working on getting settled and making friends of the people that live in the condos. I am hoping that they'll be cool. If they are one-sixteenth as amazing as my Florence friends, they're people I'm willing to stick with, and they're pretty hard to come by.

• • • • • • •Part Two: Settling In
I walked into the condo last Saturday night to be greeted by a feeling. This place felt like home. I walk up the stairs to my room and I see a bud. It wasn't quiet my place yet. Yesterday I take a look in my closet to see all of my clothes folded on the shelves. I started rearranging it. At 7 at night, I step back from it and take it in from maybe five feet back with my hair in a thousand clippies in my comfy sweats and kermit the frog t-shirt, and it hits me that this is home. The only thing missing is the things on my walls, and Kaelyn sitting on my bed eating an apple from yesterdays lunch.
It seems that besides the walls, it's as close as it's going to get.
I'll make friends here. I really miss kaelyn and everyone, but I will make friends here. They won't be the same, and I will NEVER forget my Florence friends. I refuse to. But some other friend will come along and brighten my day as much as notes from kaelyn or her sudden appearances did. I will find a place.

Part Three: A Song or Two• • • • • • • • • • •

Looking up by Paramore

It is with this that I bid you Adeau.
Keep it simple.
-THE MUSICIAN