♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦Part 1: Head Underwater♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦
So yesterday was nice. I slept the night before. I let all of that go at 5am and just slept. But now it's back. Not so bad. But what hurts is the betrayal, the lies. The fact that I'd still take him back, right now. I still miss him. I still worry for his well being. I still lost a ton of sleep last night.
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I Think I can make it though. Lack of sleep is something I'm used to, and I just talked to his mom, and she said something that gave me hope. It actually literally lifted my spirits.
Even if I lose all else, I have my hope. Sure, it will get smashed down so often that it feels like physical pain. But I'm holding on to it. I don't know what I'm hoping for....yet. But I will hold on to my sense of hope and let it grow until it can't be knocked down. It will be my walls. It will be that little voice that tells me to act on an imaginative whim. It will be staring at the ceiling willing rocks to break open my window as to make a quick getaway to the person I love. It will be my pulse. It will be something people can see when they look at me, feel when they touch me. I won't back down.
SONGS-
Love song(the cure cover) by Death Cab for Cutie
Love song by Sara Barrielas
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