6: Wake me up when september ends.

Part 1: The Indiana Blue Stars Drum and Bugle Corps♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

So today, Grandpa came to get Nate and I tro spend the night. We get to his house, do some honest to god yardwork, which I really miss doing. Honestly.
Anyways, We do a bit of work, then go to Steak&Shake, A long running tradition of ours that I will elaborate on later. From there, we go to the state fair grounds to watch the indiana blue stars. They were amazing last year, but this year, they literally gave me shivers. I kid you not. my Pop's got friends that he works with that write and arrange music for them, as well as direct.

The first time I saw them, I decided I wanted to be one of them some day.

This year, I'm old enough AND in the same state.

And pardon my french, But I am a damn good trumpet player.

So this year, I will be in marching band at the BEST band in the state. literally. So I will be at practices from 8am till 10pm, then I will go to work at Quizno's. i get out of band at 3 on fridays, so I'll work friday evenings and nights. I get sundays off band, and Saturday mornings, so I will work. I am going to push myself to my limit so that I don't have time to feel. So that I don't have to think of what he's done. I will push myself and become a machine. I will save up my money, and i will accomplish my dream, to be a blue star.

So the camp starts in November. I won't be a confirmed blue star until januaryish.

I will do this.
I've been struggling with reasons to hang in there. I will be able to do this every year till im 23. it will turn me into almost nothing but a Zombie sometimes, and nights will be really hard thinking about the emotion in the music and what it makes me think of. I already know what it will be. But the music...the music is what i will live for. The fact that I can play it and make others emotions race, their pulse quicken.

And I will try to be okay. Miserable at best, but....okay. I will have an outlet, and something to give in to. I will give in.

The thing about performing music is that it really does take some skill, for instruments. You can't just pick one up and play it without passion, you'll get nowhere. being in a band is like this. You hear the music, and you listen to it until you know how it makes you feel. When you play it, you think of timing, precision, accuracy. And you think of whatever it makes you feel. You give yourself over to its reverberation and timing. It's an escape from feeling and a window to it at the same time. While escaping from what's around you, you can let out pain, or anger, or become overwhelmed with joy so much that you really feel like laughing. I will do this. I will become slave to the rhythym.

Audioslave.

SONG- wake me up when september ends by greenday